Here are some things I know:
- Many millions of people suffer from and in conditions far worse than I’ll ever know
- I’m lucky my SCDS hasn’t completely debilitated me
- I’m lucky I received my diagnosis relatively quickly compared to most
- I’m lucky to have fantastic resources and live in a great big city full of amazing docs
- I’m lucky to have wonderful friends & family, and an incredibly strong, loving, powerful wife
You’ll hear from Tina soon as she’ll be posting for me before, during and after surgery. This ordeal has been an incredible burden on her. I have been forgetful. I have been absent: both mentally and physically. I have been weakened. I have been unproductive. I have been emotional, confused, and frustrated. I have been difficult. I have been off balance — literally and figuratively. My wife has born the brunt of this. She’s seen everything that the people who tell me “you always seemed fine” never saw. She’s been a take-no-shit, give-it-to-us straight, relentless demander of answers. Most importantly, knowing I’m scared and conflicted, she’s been a brave warrior to my face, even thought sometimes I catch her with tears in her eyes that she is quick to wipe away.
It’s tough to constantly remain positive, helpful, patient and supportive. It’s a terrible burden to want desperately to help someone you love, but feel utterly powerless to do so. The thing is, she was never powerless. She’s been nothing but power as my second backbone, my balance-booster, and my “take a deep breath” commando. I love her, I wouldn’t be where I am without her, and having her in my life is the one way in which I am the luckiest of all.