When you’ve run and ridden in races across hundreds of miles, your brain doesn’t forget what you’re supposed to be able to do. It’s like this: once you’ve run a marathon, no matter how out of shape you are, a three mile run doesn’t sound like a big deal, even if you’re in no condition to do it at the moment. I love how the human mind does that. We adjust to scale and scope based on our experiences. Tasks don’t seem so hard when we know we’ve done harder things. And yet, that creates another problem. An Ego problem. And that’s where I struggle with rehab.
After my first full vestibular rehab session yesterday with Jennifer, I’m really sore, tight, and tired (though naturally, I repeated the whole workout this morning at 6:30 AM). One-leg stands, walking on tip-toes and heels, cross-stepping: all that stuff is crucial to the recovery of my balance, and it makes me tired, and yet it is nothing like racing 100 miles on a bike over hill and dale in Kentucky. I’m clearly struggling with scope and scale.
So it’s medicine time. I teach my writing students to swallow their egos in an effort to make the best product they possibly can at this moment in time. I think what holds for writing also holds for rehab. I have to learn to do the work I can do right now with an eye toward where I’m going, and think less about where I’ve been.