Three and a half weeks post-op, and today was a pretty big day.
I drove myself to physical therapy, then later drove myself (with my mother as chaperone) home from a visit to my surgeon, Dr. Wiet. All told, it was about 30 miles. No significant negative effects to report. It’s good to know I’ll be able to get myself around.
I went for a 1.25 mile walk today. My quads get burny, and my head gets a little bit swimmy, but it’s nothing that I can’t push through. It does make me wonder, though, if running and bike riding are in my future. Both will likely take a long build up of endurance and brain-training before they become possible. The pounding of a run, not to mention the up/down jostle, seems problematic. I’m also left wondering, as usual, whether the dizziness I feel is from the surgery (which should improve) or from my unrepaired left side (which may not). No way to know yet.
BUT, Dr. Wiet confirmed today that he doesn’t think my left side needs surgery right now, and if it did, it would likely not be a craniotomy. My hearing on the left side is perfectly normal. I’m not willing to risk it without a serious need for surgery because the right side hearing has not improved. I thought it had, but the test results say otherwise. He doesn’t want to hit me with more steroids right now, but instead wants to wait three months before we start hearing aid discussions. The tinnitus is bad. Both my hearing and the ringing are much worse than before surgery, but the doctor reiterated today that he felt I had to do the operation because the dehiscence was so large, and because my tegmen was so compromised, that I was a brain herniation waiting to happen. I get that. But I want to hear, too, or at least not hear this high-pitched cloud of noise all the time. And yet, there is no going back. It is what it is. I seem to be one of the rare few who suffer serious hearing loss from superior canal dehiscence repair.
There are therapies, he says, for the tinnitus. And a couple of options to improve hearing, especially if more hearing comes back over time. All of those options involve hearing aids.
People in the support groups on Facebook have asked me if I think it was worth it. I guess I have to say it’s too early to tell. I don’t know what the final dizziness result is yet, and the hearing, while likely permanently damaged, is still in flux, too. I mean, avoiding a brain hernia is a very good thing, but if it weren’t for that one consideration, I probably would not do it again if I had a second chance. I think I would have tried to live with it longer and not risk my hearing.
Every case is obviously unique and people’s priorities are different. My quality of life was diminished before surgery, but I had reached a liveable plateau. How long that would have lasted is hard to say, and much of it was due to constant therapy and a daily dose of valium. Is that a sustainable lifestyle at 41 years old? I don’t know. Doesn’t matter now.
I do know I’ll be protecting my good left ear in every way possible, and doing all I can to retrain my body and brain to deal with its situation.
Oh — fun fact. Tinnitus is caused by the brain, not the ear. It’s noise the brain creates to fill in for a lack of sound. Crazy, huh? Sometimes, if I try really hard, I can quiet the tinnitus a few degrees by focusing on that ear and simply telling the noise to go away. At least I think I can!
Not that the scar is even close to being my biggest concern right now, but here it is: